Many Hats

I have many hats. When my son is born, he will have mini hats. I am perfecting my dad jokes.

But being a dad is a new hat I will wear in a few months. I envy the guys I see that are able to still be themselves after they have kids — the guys that can wear the dad hat, but also run their businesses and keep some semblance of style.

That is what I want to be. I want to be the guy that plays with his kid, but then turns around and builds his dream career. I want to do both of those things, and take my wife out and be social with our friends, but still have time to train for races. I still want to travel, take my dog for a run on a nice day, but still find time to watch the Lions play on Sundays.

I have many hats, but I want to learn how to wear them all. I want to be a better writer, but figure out how to have an income that will allow me to wear more hats years from now. I want to do meaningful things and inspire those closest to me.

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I know to get to that place, I need to sacrifice in the present. My biggest problem is that I don’t know what sacrifices I need to make. If you ask my wife, she will tell you that I am really good at taking that first step, but the second and third step are the ones I struggle with most. I recognize that I need to be better about following through on things I start, but my biggest fear is that I put my energy into the wrong things.

For instance, I think it would be really smart to get into real estate. I see my brother-in-law crushing it, and another friend who just took classes and sold his first house — and he has nothing but exciting and positive things to say about it.

The fear(s):

  • What if this is a dead end?
  • What happens when I spend money on taking the classes, or invest my time in learning how to flip a house and never find the financial backer?
  • Would I have time to do this with a new baby?
  • Would I have time to do this while still keeping my writing jobs and projects that give me both short term financial flexibility and possibly a long-term source of income?
  • Does my race training and fitness take a backseat to learning as much as I can about real estate?

I could honestly go on and on, but I think you get the point. And that was just one example of one hat that I would want to wear. I could repeat that series of questions about everything.

As I am writing this, I think that this must be how someone who has anxiety feels. While I have no idea what those struggles would be like, I can imagine there is always a reason they feel the way they do. There is always an excuse for their behavior and no matter how crazy, they can justify why something is the way it is in their world. I know the reasons I can’t commit to wearing every hat I want to wear aren’t always correct, but it’s a block I have in my head that is hard to deal with.

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But there is a silver lining, and I think being a dad will really help me. I know that no matter what fears or struggles or impossible road lies ahead in terms of being a father, I will figure out a way to adjust and overcome. You just figure it out, right? I think if I can just convince myself to take the same approach with all the other hats I want to wear, I’ll be able to move on the dreams I have and get to the places I want to be.

I also think being married to the person that I’m married to helps because she is the queen at moving on what she wants. She also pushes me to do the same thing, which helps me a ton.

So I have many hats, and there are many more I hope to wear. I do have fears about getting to where I want to be, but I don’t doubt that I will figure out how to get there.

 

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I’m going to be a Dad

I’m going to be a dad. I don’t know if that’s sunk in yet or not. I see my wife getting bigger (sorry, babe, but it was bound to happen sooner or later — she still looks great by the way), but I don’t know if the fact that all the planning and talking about it has really sunk in yet. Kelly and I used to look at our dog and say, “isn’t it crazy we are responsible for this living thing?” Then we’d pet him on the head and turn on some music for him and go out to dinner for a few hours. I haven’t finished the book yet, but I’m pretty sure there’s a chapter about not being able to put some baby food in a bowl and assuring yourself that when baby gets hungry enough, he’ll eat.

I’m excited for everything about being a dad, and I think I need to tell my wife that more. Sometimes, this blog is my way of telling her things that I’m not good at telling her in the moment; something I need to work on (and solid piece of advice for baby R when he gets a little older). But I am excited for sleepless nights, diapers, jogging with baby R in the stroller and talking to him about the Lions or my last race, or his next race (Baby Spartan Race — is that a thing yet?). I don’t think it’s going to be easy, but I think Kelly and I are equipped to handle it.

I’m excited about what being a dad will mean to my marriage. I think you hear a lot about people that aren’t in a good place, get pregnant, and hope that it “fixes” whatever is broken in their marriage. Being able to bring a baby into a home that is solid will amplify the good things we already have going for us — mostly involving making each other laugh by doing dog (and soon to be baby) voices about the comings and goings of day-to-day living. I am excited about bringing a child into our family because I think our family rocks. I am excited about making myself into the kind of dad I want my son growing up and looking up to. I’m excited about being seen as a dad by other people. I don’t know if that is a vanity play or not, but I’m really proud that I’m going to be a dad.

Being a dad makes me proud of myself.

I’m also excited about being a dad at different stages of Baby R’s life. I love that I will get to teach him things I really don’t know a lot about, but he’ll believe that I do because I’m his dad (lost Kelly a long time ago on this matter). I’m excited to teach him things I do know, and learn new things about myself. I’m excited to figure out the most important things and make sure Baby R grows up knowing that. I’m excited to be a coach, to golf with him someday, and to beat him at every sport for at least 12 years.

So, bring on the dadbod, sleepless nights, coordinating outfits, bottle bags, and trying to get a run in when Baby R is sleeping. Bring on the next chapter and here’s to it being the best one yet!

Dropping action bombs on my writers block

Do you know those people who won’t do anything until it’s been critiqued, analyzed, thought through and figured out twice over, broken down into bite sized pieces and baked up again in a giant idea-casserole?

Hint: who has two thumbs resting on the space bar right now? ME!

My sixth grade band never launched to super stardom because we couldn’t decide the right name that was equally catchy and applicable to a worldwide audience. In fact, we never learned instruments because we ALSO couldn’t settle on who the lead singer should be, or which one of three non-drummers had to play base (they thought I was going to play base? get real Jordan and James).

The point is, I am one of those people that is too afraid to start anything because I always fear the road ahead. I fear wasting time because it’s not done right. I fear that I will get bored and give up, or that I am not good enough for whatever it is that I want to accomplish.

Luckily, I have the greatest wife in the world (you should see her marital trophy case — impressive hardware people). She is the polar opposite of me in this regard and, sometimes to a fault (love you, b) will dive into something head first on a passing whim. Sometimes it drives me crazy, but I love it because 9 times out of 10, she accomplishes whatever it was she wanted to do.

Side note for fun, notable 1/10 failures of hers include:

  • cauliflower-crust pizza
  • indoor plants
  • Running career

I should stop now while I’m not too far behind.

What I’ve learned from her, though, is that in order to accomplish anything, you have to start something. Before I met her, I didn’t have ambition to write anything. I figured I never had a job as a writer so who would hire me? Why would anyone want to read what I had to say? But since she taught me to just start (I think it actually started with this blog), I have written for online publishing companies, a respected fantasy football site, numerous websites, and it’s even led me to what I hope will be more lucrative opportunities in the future.

So, circling the wagon back to now. Sometimes I notice I haven’t written for awhile on this blog, and I try to force myself to come up with something really clever because, well, I’m just certain that everyone remembers the last time I posted and they’re all patiently waiting for something grand from me now. Of course, this isn’t the case.

So, what I want to say in all of this is to just get out and start doing, whatever that means to you. If you aren’t happy with your job, start doing something along the lines of what it is you like doing (assuming you like more than eating, drinking, smoking pot, etc.). It’s more important to get on the path rather than trying to define the path. Once you’re moving, it’s a lot easier to determine the right direction to go.

Let us catch up (#lettuceketchup) – Dealing with Disappointment

This past weekend was my first OCR race of the season. My goal was to qualify for the OCRWC (Obstacle Course Racing World Championships) at the Ohio Spartan Race. The course was muddy, but otherwise a lot of fun. Unfortunately, I did not qualify despite having a pretty good overall race (I failed four obstacles because my grip strength needs improvement and I fell on mostly grip-intensive obstacles).

So after realizing that my time wasn’t good enough for OCRWC, I got a little down on myself. I keep going over what I could have done differently with my training — had I spent more time working on my grip strength would I have completed those obstacles? Could I have run harder in some spots and improved my time? The answer is probably “yes” to both of those things if I am honest.

Dealing with disappointment is a difficult thing. Sometimes you do your best and are told that it’s still not good enough. I want to be angry at OCRWC for making it more difficult to qualify this year. I want to blame the rain or my starting time and use those as excuses for why my time suffered. Part of me wants to blame Spartan Race for not policing their obstacles because someone could have cheated and that cost me a place in my goal race.

I think that times like this it’s important to look inward and not outward, and instead of assigning blame to why you didn’t accomplish your goal, come to terms with it and decide how you will find a new path. Instead of me looking at everything that went wrong, I should instead look at everything I gained from not qualifying this past weekend.

  • This was the first race of the year — I’ll have more races to qualify
  • I understand my weaknesses better, and know what I need to work on for upcoming races
  • My nutrition plan worked really well and I had plenty of energy throughout the whole race, so that is one less thing to worry about for future events.
  • I didn’t get injured and I had a ton of fun racing!

There are really more things that could have gone wrong that didn’t, and I am happy that I was able to compete and see how hard everyone worked out there when the weather was “less than ideal.” Kelly raced along with me and she did really well too and felt great.

In the end, dealing with disappointment is all a matter of perspective. Especially in OCR, sometimes you run a good race and still come out on the short side of where you want to be. I might not have accomplished my goal this past weekend, but I still had a lot of fun and learned a lot about how I can improve. And, I get another chance in two weeks to put what I learned to the test.

 

You can only have three hobbies…

Everybody needs three hobbies – one that makes them money, one that keeps them in shape, and one that keeps them creative.

I read this the other day and it kind of struck a chord in me because I’ve always been the guy who tried a little of everything (you should see my plate at Thanksgiving… literally a little of everything!). The thought of only three hobbies is a hard thing to wrap my head around because I spend more time thinking about the things I’d be giving up than I would those things that I would hold on to and keep in my life.

How do I choose between running and Crossfit? One is good for my soul, while the other is giving me some semblance of abs (only visible in the mornings after I dehydrate myself with alcohol the night before).  Likewise, how do I choose between playing guitar and blogging. One is good for my soul, while….well you get the point.

On the other hand, none of my hobbies make me any money, and I would love to begin pouring some of my energy into something that might help me accumulate wealth one day. Everything I have ever done, from marathon training to learning guitar has either taken time or money (usually both) and I never see a return if I look at it like an investment, which it is if you think about it.

Then again, I don’t want my life to be joyless, where every decision I make has to have a dollar sign attached or take me one step closer to something. I think the one thing I’ve always held on to about myself is that most things I do, I do because they make me happy. I think I am done getting tattoos, but if I did ever get another one, it would either be a wedding ring tattoo (unrelated) or something that said “do what makes you happy.”

I think what works for me is to kind of make some creative, executive decisions. For example, instead of choosing between running and crossfit, I can say that the hobby that keeps me in shape is “racing.” Racing requires endurance and cross training, so I can kind of bundle a few things into one larger umbrella of a hobby.

With that being said, these would be my three hobbies that will make me money, keep me in shape, and keep me creative.

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One that makes me money…

Sweat Local Columbus – my wife and I have this really cool thing, and we both want to figure out a way to take this really cool thing and turn it into something that can make us a little money on the side. Who knows, maybe one day we can make a lot of money on the side. We’re still trying to figure out exactly what we can do with it and we’re still trying to figure out the best way we can make it as accessible and worthwhile to the active community in Columbus as we can.

Currently, Kelly IS Sweat Local Columbus. She is the one who has had to shoulder all the work for it and, to be honest, she is much more involved in the fitness community around Columbus than I am. She teaches spinning, knows just about every Yoga studio and instructor that teaches in Columbus, and she is the one who has been making the connections that have helped get Sweat Local Columbus off the ground.

We both know that if Sweat Local Columbus is going to grow into what we want it to be, it is going to take both of us, which means I need to step up and contribute beyond helping set up and clean up at the events we do. So, my new hobby that will make me money, even if it’s in the future and not RIGHT NOW, will be to pour my effort and energy into matching Kelly’s passion for it and see it grow.

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One that keeps me in shape…

Racing – Anyone who knows me knows that this past year I found the sport of obstacle course racing. My wife and I joke about how I ever found this sport, and the truth is I don’t really know. I had done 5K’s and a few distance races since I graduated college, but nothing that wasn’t just running on flat ground for however long. Then, last February, I did a trail run (little different). Then I did a Spartan Race. Then  Kelly was out of town one Saturday, so I drove up and did a Warrior Dash. Then I talked Kelly into doing another Spartan Race with me. Somewhere along the way I qualified for the Obstacle Course Racing World Championship, so last month we drove eight hours up to Canada and I did that.

The point is, I think this is a hobby that is going to stay with me, and one that keeps me in shape. In order to train for these races, I go to Crossfit twice a week to work on my strength and cross training, and I also run twice a week or so to keep my endurance up. Kelly now wants to get a Spinning bike for the house (might be a ploy by her as a way to get me to clean the basement…jury still out on this one), which would also help with my endurance. The long and short of it is that racing, to me, can encompass all of these things but still be “one” hobby.

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One that keeps me creative…

Writing – This one is tough because I feel like if I say writing, then I should consider giving up playing guitar. But, as an executive decision maker in the Ryan Rauch brand, I will allow myself the ability to play a minimal amount (let’s be honest, that’s all I do now anyway) of guitar. But the best way I know to channel my creativity is through my writing, and I would like to develop a voice not just for myself, but be able to cultivate a voice for other brands as well.

I already blog here, you know that, but I also write blog posts for Sweat Local Columbus. They’re fine, but I was to write in a way that is more engaging with an audience. I want to be able to excite people when I write.

Last night, I was talking to Kelly about one of her favorite bloggers (slash Snap Chat follows), and she was talking about a blog post she had written recently that Kelly could relate to every word. I wish I could tell you what the subject was of the blog, but I think I’d be in trouble so I’ll leave that part out. Anyway, I don’t think anyone can really say that about my writing. I think it’s good, but it doesn’t make people say, “every word he wrote was spot on to how I feel.” As soon as I can develop THAT kind of voice, I think I’ll be at a point with my writing where I can genuinely add value to Sweat Local Columbus, or maybe even some Local Anywhere clients!

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With that said, it seems like I won’t have much room in my life for fantasy football, my dog, any sort of chores, my dream of being on the Senior PGA Tour, or anything else that doesn’t help Sweat Local Columbus, my racing career, or my writing… Then again, who doesn’t love a good dog story, and I’m sure 18 holes would improve my shoulder flexibility in a way that might help me on some obstacles.

 

One Month Fitness Challenge: Day 22

Sorry to those of you who are hoping for anything different than last week’s progress report (progrep for short….not really I just made that up). Let’s just get into it, shall we?

It’s been three weeks and to recap, these were my goals for September:

  1. Run 75 miles in month of September
  2. Do 30 burpees each day (or do 900 in month in case of missed day or two)
  3. Attend no less than 2 Crossfit classes each week (exception Ireland week)
  4. Lose 5-7 pounds (though, I’d be OK if I didn’t reach this goal until race day 10/15)

So, progress check.

Running:

So I’m not exactly jumping over the moon about my progress, but I’m not super down on myself either. I’ve logged 15.5 miles since last Thursday. I’m finding it’s difficult to get in two days of crossfit and really get a lot of miles in without exercising every day of the week. I did run a 9.5 mile this past Sunday (pace around 8:00 or 8:15 per mile, which is about where I want to be for longer runs). My biggest challenge is getting up in the mornings to run. I wish I had better will power to just force myself to get up and get out there, but I am really good about waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and deciding THEN that I am going to sleep in, so I change my alarm to my normal wake up time. Wuddaya gonna do, ya’know?

I’ll say this: I don’t think I will achieve 75 by the end of this month, but I think it’s possible to get 75 miles before Canada on 10/15.

Burpees

Hey look over there! See that thing? Focus on that and let’s move on to the next section!

Crossfit

Crossfit going well.Have been solid about going twice per week and I’ve noticed some gains in my overall strength. I’m nowhere near where I want to be strength-wise, but I believe I’m getting there. There are little things thought that excite me for my two races next month.

My grip strength has improved. I’ve probably mentioned my biggest takeaway from my first Spartan Race was that I needed to work on my grip strength. I feel much more confident now than I did a month ago thanks to crossfit and some at home exercises Kelly and I do that my grip strength is close to where I’d like it to be.

I also like to play around and climb on the rig after we do crossfit. I feel when my energy is low, I like to get a sense of how well I am pull myself up and around, and I feel very confident that I’ll be able to pass the monkey bar obstacles that I might face. It’s kind of funny, but when Kelly and I were in Cork, Ireland a few weeks ago, we were sitting outside of this bar, and I was looking at this wall and thinking how, if I needed to (b/c you know, sooner or later I might need to), I could scale the wall by hanging from and pulling myself up and over by using pipes, AC units, signage, and whatever else was between me and the roof. Just saying, might need to do that one day…

Lose 5-7 lbs.

So, I am down 2.5 pounds as of this morning from where I was three weeks ago. I’ll make a bigger push the week before the OCRWC to really cut weight, so I think I am on a good path. My focus as far as losing weight has been upping my cardio and just eating a little cleaner (little less drinking, little more discipline when it comes to diet). No major changes planned until race week, where I’ll probably cut way back on bread and cut out alcohol and focus 75% of my diet on vegetables, fruit, and protein.

Current Weight: 170.0 lbs.

Self-Assessed Fitness Level: 8/10

Days run this month: 8 (out of 21)

Miles run this month: 36

Crossfit classes attended past week: 2

Biggest Challenge Past Week: Motivation to get my ass out of bed and run!

One Month Fitness Challenge: Day Fifteen

So I didn’t update the blog last week because I was in Ireland and I decided that the blog wasn’t the most important thing to do that week (I did write most of a blog for Sweat Local, though, so kudos to me…kidding, my wife worked way more than I did on SL and deserves way more kudos for getting our first Sweat Sesh going last this month…) ANYWAY…

It’s been two weeks and to recap, these were my goals for September:

  1. Run 75 miles in month of September
  2. Do 30 burpees each day (or do 900 in month in case of missed day or two)
  3. Attend no less than 2 Crossfit classes each week (exception Ireland week)
  4. Lose 5-7 pounds (though, I’d be OK if I didn’t reach this goal until race day 10/15)

So, progress check.

Running:

I’ve logged just over 20 miles, so obviously I’m not hitting my goal (should be at 37.5 by now). I made a excel sheet that allows me to track where I am at and what my daily average needs to be in order to complete the 75 miles by 9/30. Basically, I need to run 3.4 miles every day in order to get there. Not saying won’t happen, but I’m worried. I do plan to run a lot this weekend (10-15 miles) so hopefully I can start chipping away at that 75.

I did have a nice 5 mile run in Ireland, which is something I always like to do once when I travel. Great way to explore a city and get a feel for the culture.

Burpees

For the most part, I (and Kelly who is doing 30 a day with me) am doing pretty good with this. I’ll admit, there were a few days in Ireland that we missed, then tried to make up on the back end, but if I’m honest, I’m probably short of my (15 x 30) burpee target arc.

Crossfit

This is something I’ve kept up on. Kelly and I went to Crossfit Perpetua in Dublin twice on our vacation (mixed review btw — people were great, but front desk girl (accent unknown) couldn’t make left or right of us dropping in AND wanting to buy a t-shirt…I mean how many curve balls can you throw at someone at one time?!?). I’ve already gone once this week and plan to go again on Saturday.

I do feel like my strength has greatly improved, which is what I needed after my last OCRs. My worry is that my endurance won’t be as good as it was when I was doing Orange Theory, but it’s kind of a “pick your poison” kind of scenario, right? I do think that, between endurance and strength, I’d rather be strong enough for the obstacles and fight through fatigue than have energy at each obstacle, but not enough upper body and grip strength to complete obstacles.

Lose 5-7 lbs.

Not too concerned with this one. I was up a bit of weight after Ireland, but am back down (as of this morning) to 171.8, which is just a fraction less than what I was when this month began. I don’t think I’ll have too much trouble dropping another 5 pounds or so to get to around 165 by race day.

Current Weight: 171.8 lbs.

Self-Assessed Fitness Level: 7/10

Days run this month: 4

Miles run this month: 20.5

Crossfit classes attended past week: 2

Biggest Challenge Past Week: logging miles!