Many Hats

I have many hats. When my son is born, he will have mini hats. I am perfecting my dad jokes.

But being a dad is a new hat I will wear in a few months. I envy the guys I see that are able to still be themselves after they have kids — the guys that can wear the dad hat, but also run their businesses and keep some semblance of style.

That is what I want to be. I want to be the guy that plays with his kid, but then turns around and builds his dream career. I want to do both of those things, and take my wife out and be social with our friends, but still have time to train for races. I still want to travel, take my dog for a run on a nice day, but still find time to watch the Lions play on Sundays.

I have many hats, but I want to learn how to wear them all. I want to be a better writer, but figure out how to have an income that will allow me to wear more hats years from now. I want to do meaningful things and inspire those closest to me.

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I know to get to that place, I need to sacrifice in the present. My biggest problem is that I don’t know what sacrifices I need to make. If you ask my wife, she will tell you that I am really good at taking that first step, but the second and third step are the ones I struggle with most. I recognize that I need to be better about following through on things I start, but my biggest fear is that I put my energy into the wrong things.

For instance, I think it would be really smart to get into real estate. I see my brother-in-law crushing it, and another friend who just took classes and sold his first house — and he has nothing but exciting and positive things to say about it.

The fear(s):

  • What if this is a dead end?
  • What happens when I spend money on taking the classes, or invest my time in learning how to flip a house and never find the financial backer?
  • Would I have time to do this with a new baby?
  • Would I have time to do this while still keeping my writing jobs and projects that give me both short term financial flexibility and possibly a long-term source of income?
  • Does my race training and fitness take a backseat to learning as much as I can about real estate?

I could honestly go on and on, but I think you get the point. And that was just one example of one hat that I would want to wear. I could repeat that series of questions about everything.

As I am writing this, I think that this must be how someone who has anxiety feels. While I have no idea what those struggles would be like, I can imagine there is always a reason they feel the way they do. There is always an excuse for their behavior and no matter how crazy, they can justify why something is the way it is in their world. I know the reasons I can’t commit to wearing every hat I want to wear aren’t always correct, but it’s a block I have in my head that is hard to deal with.

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But there is a silver lining, and I think being a dad will really help me. I know that no matter what fears or struggles or impossible road lies ahead in terms of being a father, I will figure out a way to adjust and overcome. You just figure it out, right? I think if I can just convince myself to take the same approach with all the other hats I want to wear, I’ll be able to move on the dreams I have and get to the places I want to be.

I also think being married to the person that I’m married to helps because she is the queen at moving on what she wants. She also pushes me to do the same thing, which helps me a ton.

So I have many hats, and there are many more I hope to wear. I do have fears about getting to where I want to be, but I don’t doubt that I will figure out how to get there.

 

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Author: ryanjrauch

I am not here to change the world. I am here to change my world.

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