A quick Google search of trendy words in 2015 will populate your browser with words like bae, dadbod, on fleek, turn(t) up/down, #WCW, #FridayFail, #mindthegap, basic b*tch (usually followed by emoji with girl holding an invisible serving tray), and all sorts of other goofy words and terms that we like to occasionally use with our friends and pretend that we’re super-trendy. Ellen (my wife DVR’s her show, I watch when we’re out of our main lineup of shows, #SINS <— trendy!) even did a piece this month about some of these words and asked her 35-50 MWF audience if they knew what a lot of these words meant. I think she used “bae,” “on fleek,” and “netflix and chill” and asked audience members to use each phrase in a sentence. A lot of the audience laughed when she said the words, as if saying “oh yea, Ellen, we know what THAT word means,” but a quick read of their faces suggested they might have just been pretending to know so to appear like they’re more “with it” than they all know themselves to be.
In a world where eggplant emoji’s are penis’ and drinking isn’t drinking unless you snap yo drank, we all need to “Netflix and chill” out over this age of talking in hashtags and answering each other by mimicking little yellow people in our text bars.
But allow me to digress. The point of this post is not to bash this generation of new-slang-slinging communicators, but rather look ahead to 2016 at what might be trending in terms of how we talk to one another, what it is we talk about, and what will captivate our lives for the next 365 days (provided it’s not a leap year… too lazy to check).
- Evolved Emojis – In 2015, we could hold entire conversations by texting tiny pictures. Taco – fork and knife – Mexican flag – two beer mugs – question mark, to which a reply of face with hearts for eyes – thumbs up – girl waving – clock face showing 5:00 pm. We have embraced emojis because it allows us to be hilarious and also save time in using those annoying letters all the time to communicate our thoughts, but who has time to scroll our eyes from left to right reading 5-10 emojies at a time? That is why to stay current, emojis will evolve into tiny GIF-like animations of sunglasses face morphing into two girls holding hands morphing into beach scene morphing into a cocktail glass. We can stare at one emoji and let it do all the work instead of us having to remember the last two emojis in a linear row…
- Craft Vaping – I don’t know where the idea of “Craft things” came about — maybe it was literally crafting, which allowed us to personalize things in the 80’s like bird houses or Christmas cards and make them unique. While we don’t know where it came from, we certainly can recognize where crafting is in the form of craft beer, craft cheese, and a whole slew of other food and drinks that just weren’t good enough before so we had to make them better. With vaping picking up steam around the country, I can see craft vaping making a charge into mainstream America in 2016.
Hipster 1: This vape has a little kush, a little kettle one, and some rosemary that really mellows your buzz. Hipster 2: Crafty, bud.
- Camo-Flannel (aka Flamo) – If I see someone wearing a flannel shirt in 2015, I think, “cool.” If I see someone wearing camo (and they’re not hunting) in 2015, I think, “cool.” 2016 will blend these two mega-trends into one, and 2016 will be covered in “Flamo.” I can just see it now, flamo shirts at all the coolest parties. “Check out the lining of my jacket…flamo for days!” Of course, flamo will be locally sourced, cruelty-free, and for every flamo you buy, a pair of Warby Parker glasses will be sent to someone in a third world country.
- The Beginning of the Ban on Red Meat – Two years ago, pink slime was a trending word thanks to fast food joints stuffing this disgusting joke they called “meat” in between piece of bread and calling it a sandwich. 2015 taught us that bacon causes cancer and that we would solve a lot of this country’s food issues with we lessened our dependence on animal products. There is a feeling that red meat is this generation’s cigarette. We will fight the idea that we shouldn’t eat red meat because it tastes good, but ultimately something needs to happen to lessen people’s dependence on it for our health and for our planet. 2016 will be the year we see taxes on red meat that will lead to price hikes and ultimately a ban on certain red meat.
- Our spending will go up SIGNIFICANTLY – With the trend of “one-click buying,” it is becoming easier and easier to see something you want and buy it. In 2016, we won’t be able to help ourselves. We will see a hat on one of our friends on FB, and we will tap their hat and it will pop up a price and one-click buy button and it’ll be at our door in 36 hours. Amazon already makes it too easy to find literally (figuratively) anything on the planet you could possibly want and have a buy it now price. With how attached we are to our phones, we will be spending machines in 2016 and we won’t know why we are struggling paycheck to paycheck!