Dating Naked is…

As summer winds down, and we are all left anticipating the return of watchable television, I am relieved that this summer’s slate of “naked television” is over. I’m not talking about porn, either. 2015 has been the year of Dating Naked, Naked and Afraid, Afraid of what he looks like Naked, Naked Chef… There are full-moon butts on television at 7:00 p.m. and I can’t make left or right of when this became acceptable and why there is such a fascination with “naked” this year.

Now, like any red-blooded American male, I enjoy seeing a naked body. I don’t want to make this post about that but I enjoy passing the occasional judgement as I put a pillow over my belly after a big meal. I think it’s weird watching two strangers play basketball with high socks and headbands, and nothing guarding their balls but good form and a good crossover… That was a basketball joke.

I mean, how is banana boating naked supposed to tell me whether or not someone is a good match for me? I get seeing the weird parts early can take some of the anxiety out of dating someone, but in 2015, who is really saying to themselves, “sure we get along, but if her boobs are shaped funny I am out of here!” Or, “he is a terrible person, but he can survive naked in the woods for three weeks, so I am going to call this one a keeper. Never know when you’re going to have to naked your way out of a tough situation.”

Basically, bring back scripted shows where writers with talent put together coherent seasons of CIA-stuff, spy-stuff, national security-stuff, scandal-stuff, and mix in a bunch of football and paint me content. I am ready for summer to be over so these damn kids will put some clothes back on! — at least on TV.

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Author: ryanjrauch

I am not here to change the world. I am here to change my world.

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