Viva Las Vegas

I think about Las Vegas like:

  • A six year old thinks about Christmas
  • A dog thinks about car rides
  • David Hasselhoff thinks about himself
  • A junkie thinks about the race track/his dealer/ [insert vice here]

I am obsessed with Las Vegas and I am convinced it is the best place on earth and there isn’t anything anyone can do to convince me otherwise.

I am going to Las Vegas in 3 weeks (515 hours or 30902 minutes <– thanks, Google).

Not only am I going to Las Vegas, I will be going to Las Vegas during the Super Bowl. That is like going to New York City on New Years Eve or going to Germany during Oktoberfest. There is nowhere in the world I would rather be than the heart of debauchery and craziness during the biggest sporting event of the year.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Let me try to express my feelings in a different manner.

This will be my second trip to Vegas. I was super excited the first time, but for a completely different reason. I was excited for the newness, for the thought of what it might be like. I was excited because I had watched 21, Casino and Ocean’s 11 to prepare myself for what might be.

This time around is different. This time I know what I’m getting in to and I know how to ration my time better. The first time I kind of just went and “went with it.” I let come what may and threw caution to the wind and “wung it.”

Now I am going to Vegas with a plan. This time, shows kind of take the cake since last time we were too excited we didn’t see any. We tried to see Love, but got a tip to find one of those street-side ticket sales places, and apparently we were 5 minutes too late to buy the tickets so we missed out.

VEGAS TIP 1: Deals are great; I get it. It’s an expensive city and you want to cut a few corners. But, Vegas is an expensive city. Sometimes in the whole scheme of things, jumping through 15 hoops to save $20 on a show isn’t always worth it. If you want to see something, just spend the money. You’ll remember the show, not the few bucks you saved.

We are staying at the Encore at Wynn. I hear good things about it. The last time my wife and I went to Vegas, we never made it further down the strip than to the Venetian. We stayed at Monte Carlo last time, so I am also excited to set up our operations out of the other side of town and see what kind of trouble we can get in. My wife really wants to “go clubbin'” this time, since last time we bunkered down in the casinos instead of seeing what else was out there to do past midnight.

VEGAS TIP 2: Know what you’re getting into when you “go clubbin’.” The strobey, foamy, DJ Tiesto-looking club shots with the girls in cages look really cool on TV, but I’ve heard horror stories about mandatory bottle service and $3000 tabs for a table and a bottle of Absolute Vodka. Know the costs of something before you go in.

Another thing I found to be the case, at least when I went the first time, was that I was unable to get drunk. There was one late night/early morning we stayed up and began drinking again for breakfast where I ended up taking a nap by the pool one day, but I chalk that up more too staying up playing roulette at Wild Bill’s Gamblin’ Hall than I do being drunk. I think this time I would like to get my tipsy on at least one night and explore Sin City that way.

I do remember seeing one guy face down in a sports book, so I know it’s possible. Not saying that’s where I want to spend this next trip to Vegas, but maybe something in between that and last time.

VEGAS TIP 3: Know your limits. Alcohol makes everything better in Vegas…to a point. Too much alcohol will end your night early and you might wake up somewhere with a cement bench and a few bars between you and the next guy who likes to party.

Otherwise, I’m pumped. I have been having a hard time focusing because…Vegas… and I’ve been pretty much excusing my ADD by “yea, well….Vegas.”

Here’s to you, Vegas. I’ll see you in 3 weeks and I’m coming prepared!




Author: ryanjrauch

I am not here to change the world. I am here to change my world.

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